LOWCOUNTRY RAMBLER
AUGUST2022

‘Beast Mode’:  not a new dance craze 

 

Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse (D) tweeted last week that Biden should go “beast mode” on unilateral climate change actions, devoid of input from Congress. Shortly thereafter he issued an apology for suggesting Hillary Clinton would be the perfect person to serve as the Beast Czar. 

  

Expect a platinum sermon? 

 

Bishop Lamor Whitehead was recently preaching in Brooklyn, New York, when three masked gunmen entered his church. Why would robbers target a man of the cloth? Well, it seems the bishop and his wife were wearing more than a $1 million in jewelry, as the Daily News has reported. In other news, Joel Osteen has increased security in his stadium. 

 

Grim expectations 

 

Convicted pedophile madam Ghislaine Maxwell has been moved to a low-security federal prison in Florida, where prisoners have much greater freedom of unsupervised movement. Your Rambler would like to be the first to report officially:  “Maxwell did not kill herself.” 

  

Supreme faking  

 

Rep. Alexandria “Sandy” Ocasio-Cortez was escorted from the grounds of a Supreme Court protest. Never one to shy away from a fake photo op, Sandy placed her hands behind her back to give the appearance she was in cuffs. Perhaps, she’s practicing for the future. 

  

Century Club in Ridgeland 

 

A friend of the Mercury, famed sportsman Josh Clark of Spring Hill Plantation in Ridgeland, will turn 100 on August 10. The Rambler wishes Josh 100 more! 

  

What is a bruin doin’? 

 

Wendy Watson of Greenville had a unique moment recently when her camera recorded a black bear walking up to the door and appearing to “ring” her doorbell around 3:30 a.m. When asked for a comment, Jeff Bezos stated bears don’t need bathroom breaks during a shift — they wait until they return to the woods to take care of business. 

  

Kiwi heritage clouds reality 

 

Some lawmakers want New Zealanders to drop their nation’s name, as it harks back to an era of colonization, and adopt another — Aotearoa, a Māori word referring to the clouds that indigenous oral history says helped early Polynesian navigators make their way here. We can’t decide which is more ridiculous:  The name change or trying to navigate using clouds. 

 

 Tony Dow, RIP 

 

Your Rambler is sad to report the passing of actor Tony Dow, who played Wally Cleaver on the famed TV show “Leave It to Beaver.” Dow was part of a show that reminded us that we can laugh mightily without falling apart at the moral center; he went on to become an accomplished sculptor. Godspeed, Tony — thanks for the memories of a simpler time in America. 

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